All posts are moderated and posted around 5pm T-F.
I’m addicted to pornography, to masturbation, to nicotine, to approval, to materialism, to success, to comfort and to pleasure, to knowledge, and much much more.
I’m sure I’m not the only one here.
I recognize that my addictions are stealing life and joy from me, but can’t stop.
From a work standpoint, this week is the most important week thus far this calendar year for me. And so of course I have to get completely sidelined with a bad sickness…Such crap timing God. Why would you choose last night of all nights to let me have no sleep? As I was woken up by my own hacking for the 14th time last night, that was the question running through my head…What’s the lesson here God? Why do you want to do this to me right at this moment? Why not next week or last week?
OK, that seems small, perhaps petty…my life isn’t going to change because of a bit of sickness…personally I have a tendency anyway to ask these questions in fear, frustration, anger, even vitriole, when big things happen…But I think it’s just as relevant here…I’m pissed off by this situation…so why? What’s the point? If I really believe what I believe, there must be a point…so tell me what it is, because really, I don’t see it. It just pisses me off.
feeling blah. don’t know if it is this cold, or my general disposition. feeling very blah, unable to think and unable to feel.
Christ have mercy